Teachers are caregivers in their classrooms every day. We wipe away tears, listen to anxious students, and help them discover how they learn best. We feed and clothe students who don’t have enough. We bring in favourite toys or special stickers to make them feel valued. We create structure and safe spaces for them. But outside of the classroom, many teachers are also parents and caregivers to aging parents or other loved ones.

This is where my thoughts have been lately. I’m a caregiver for my mom, who has dementia. She lives in another city with a full-time caregiver, which may sound like it makes things easier, but it doesn’t. I’m constantly managing her care, staying on top of her caregiver’s needs, handling medical appointments, bills, and the upkeep of her home, including tenants in the basement apartment.

The Emotional & Physical Toll of Caregiving

Many teachers are in this situation, balancing caregiving while raising children, taking care of elderly parents, and teaching full-time. And while caregiving isn’t unique to teachers, our profession adds another layer. We spend our days caregiving in the classroom and then go home to continue caregiving for our families. We leave classrooms where students may be highly anxious, struggling with academics, or even disruptive, and then face the additional emotional toll of caring for aging parents.

Caring for a parent feels different from caring for a child—it carries a unique emotional weight. It’s anticipatory grief, something we rarely acknowledge but carry with us daily. On top of this, there’s a mountain of paperwork involved in managing a parent’s care. It can feel overwhelming.

I recently read Caregiving with Love and Joy for All, which shared a story about a man caring for his mother with dementia, only to develop dementia himself. His wife became the caregiver for both of them, realizing she couldn’t afford to fall ill herself. This story reminded me of Gabor Maté’s When the Body Says No, which explores how stress manifests physically in our bodies. Between teaching and caregiving, I can’t help but feel the weight of this reality.

Where Do We Go From Here?

It doesn’t take much to see how this dual responsibility takes a toll on educators, yet it often goes unacknowledged. I worry about what could happen if I became seriously ill while balancing my job and caregiving responsibilities. Is it worth the health risk? But what choice do we have? I’m not going to abandon my mom, and I’m not going to give up the career I’ve worked so hard for.

In Ottawa, we have family illness days in our contracts, but many teachers feel discouraged from using them due to administrative pushback or guilt over leaving their classrooms. Even with a supportive principal, the planning required for a substitute teacher can make it easier to just push through exhaustion.

Yet, I would encourage educators to take the days they need. Your health is just as important as that of your parents, children, and students.

Building a System That Supports Educators and Caregivers

As I continue to figure out how to do it all, I reflect on how society supports—or fails to support—caregivers. Growing up, I never saw what it meant to care for aging family members. My grandmothers lived in Kolkata, and while I visited them every few years, I never witnessed the daily effort it takes. No one in my family prepared for this phase of my parents’ lives, and I’m learning that society is not designed to support caregivers.

In education, I often hear colleagues navigating similar challenges—calls to organizations, questions about tax credits, and figuring out how to move a parent or sell a home. These conversations highlight a systemic gap: how do we find the time to manage these responsibilities during the school day?

Perhaps we need to address this in our collective agreements—negotiating for more caregiving or illness days, or allowing teachers time off to set up care for their parents without financial penalties.

So, I ask you: What would help you balance caregiving and teaching? What supports would allow you to play both roles without constant exhaustion? These are the conversations we need to have if we want to build a system that truly supports educators and caregivers alike.